then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
