All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
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I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
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i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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