I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
