you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
