Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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