I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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