I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
