Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
