I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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