How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
