I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
