I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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