She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
This house was built for laser tag.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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