What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
