he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
