I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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