Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
