when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
