I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
