Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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