He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
