I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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