The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
