Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
