Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
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and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
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Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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