Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We don't watch enough power rangers
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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