How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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