Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
