I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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