So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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