How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
