So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
