You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
