YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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