if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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