ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
