you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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