I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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