Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
