Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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