But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
