talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
