My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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