so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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