turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
