I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
How does one acquire holy water?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
