im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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