don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
handjob tips. give me some.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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