Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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