I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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