I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Someone signed my nipple.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
