I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
