before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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