somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
