Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
