this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize