Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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