sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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