mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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