I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
