Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
