areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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