Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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