Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
