just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
