I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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