At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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