ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
